Your Problems Are Not Your Children’s Fault

Your children do not deserve your stress on them, your anxiety, your fears and the bad experiences you may have on a daily basis.

Before you vent your anger on them, you need to remember that your problems are not your children’s fault. You should spare them this unnecessary suffering which can undermine their self-esteem.

It’s easy to yell at them, get angry with them, and even punish them for no reason.

However, you don’t realize that they are not responsible for your bad day. Or frustrations that you may feel because of the differences between you and your partner, for example.

No one is responsible, let alone them, for what can happen to you.

The risk of breaking out against the person who least deserves it

Often, unloading your frustrations on your children suggests an accumulation of emotions and unspoken words that must, in some way, come out.

Whether it’s because you want to keep your cool in front of your boss. And that you don’t want to tell him everything you think about for fear he’ll fire you from the job. Or because you put up with certain behaviors from your partner that you disapprove of.

All of this causes you to stand up against those who deserve it the least. In addition, you choose those who cannot defend themselves, over whom you can exercise some power.

They won’t answer you. And if they do, you will seem to be exercising authority over your children. When in reality, you are not aware that you are losing control of the situation.

What you hold so deep inside you that you don’t dare tell your boss isn’t necessarily negative. Look for the best words, be respectful and adapt to the context, but don’t keep what you know will come out to yourself.

Likewise, stop supporting and keeping quiet about your partner’s actions.

You do this because you harbor the hope that he will change the way he acts. But, if you don’t show it verbally, how could they know? He is not a diviner …

Children suffer the consequences of your frustrations

Surely you haven’t noticed it, but this dump of fear, hatred and frustration has a strong impact on these innocent little people who come into this game of life.

The less you solve your problems, the more they will play a role in your negative moments without knowing very well why the slightest silliness they do turns into drama.

If this situation goes on for too long, if you can’t bring it to an end and realize that the way you act is not solving the real root of the problem, your children may suffer from low self-esteem. since it is not the fault of the children.

Self-esteem is very important and if you see everything in black in your life, you will see everything about them the same.

Suddenly you will choose negative reinforcement, making them see and feel whatever they are doing wrong. But, and what are they doing well? You will forget it.

Even though they are small now, they will have serious problems in the near future. Not just to feel appreciated, fit and able to do any job or project. But also in their personal relationships.

It’s not the children’s fault

Going back to the examples mentioned, you may think it is your boss’s fault for not behaving in the right way with you, or your partner for not being respectful enough to you. .

However, you need to see all of this from another angle.

It is not the fault of the children. You are the person who is not responding in the right way to what is happening to you.

By not expressing yourself, being silent and assuming how others are going to act, something is not going to turn out the way you want it to.

If you are at peace with yourself, then you won’t need someone for your daily punching bag to let off steam.

It is not the fault of your children, nor of others. Start taking action by letting go of your fears, “what ifs” and expectations.

Focus on the present and act when you want. Don’t keep it, don’t hold it, let it go and you will feel free.